A Russian Refugee Experience

by: Andrew d’Anthua

        For many people all over the world, the highly developed Western Democracies, primarily the United States, are the promised lands, where dreams come true, and where everyone can develop his or her potential.  Fortunately, those who enter this country do not collect welfare benefits, but work very hard to see their dreams turn into reality.  Immigration to America did not begin yesterday, and most likely won’t stop tomorrow.  During the last century, those who were persecuted for political or religious reasons in Europe, Asia, and Africa abandoned the Old World to find here in the New World personal freedom, a home, and of course, a new life.  And even now, inside many of those who enter this country, the spirit of the Mayflower passengers still lives.

        The story of my friend Oleg Anthonuk is a typical one for many immigrants from Eastern Europe.  In the ancient city of Zhitomir, when Ukraine was still a part of the former Soviet Union, Oleg was born into his family of Roman Catholics.  It is well known that the Soviet State was officially atheistic, and any religious practice was strictly discouraged.  However, few know in the west that some denominations, such as Ukrainian Catholicism, were completely outlawed, and a membership in such a church was illegal.  Thus, my friend’s family was under permanent suspicion from the side of the Soviet secret police, the KGB, who main task was to detect citizens who might be unloyal to the Communist State.  All believers in such religions automatically belonged to this group.

        KGB surveillance upon Oleg began when he was a high school student.  Teachers were secretly instructed to lower the test results of students from these religious families, and their personal files were marked by a special code to prevent such young people from entering colleges and universities.  Soon after graduating from high school, Oleg was summoned to the KGB office and brutally interrogated by two plain-clothed officers.  Ever since, summons from the KGB became routine on a yearly basis.  Once, the KGB and the police made an illegal search at Oleg’s literature, and confiscated the Holy Bible published in Finland.  In his free time, Oleg was studying the English language, and his fact brought some new problems to his life.  To prevent them from getting access to Western mass media, rank-and-file Soviets were not supposed to speak or write foreign languages.  A “caseworker” from the KGB told Oleg, “You are studying English because you wish to leave the country.” At the time, manifested desire to emigrate was considered a serious criminal offense.  

        Oleg, his wife, and aged mother were living in a one room studio-like apartment without hot water and a bathroom.  Unlike this country, houses and condos, as a general rule, were not available for sale or rent in the former Soviet Union.  Almost all housing facilities were distributed by corrupted state officials through the waiting lists.  Actually, it was one more way for the state to control its citizens.  In spite of the fact that Oleg’s family, after long years of waiting, was number one of the city’s list, authorities kept refusing to grant a more comfortable apartment for them.  Yet people who were far behind on the list got better homes.  At an inquiry, one official confessed to Oleg, “Those who do not share Communist ideology are not entitled for benefits.”

        Soon after the collapse of the Soviet Union, Oleg applied to the State Department for refugee status, which enables the whole family to enter the U.S. in search of religious and personal freedom.  Thus, the KGB officer’s remark concerning Oleg’s desire to emigrate to the U.S., proved to be true.  The process of approval took three years, and at last in March of 1995, Oleg, his wife, and his mother arrived in this country.  Since they didn’t have any relatives in the U.S., they were met and sponsored by Catholic Charities.  Employees of this non-profit organization really have done a lot to support Oleg’s family during the first, and with no exaggeration, the most important steps in his new life and new culture.

        Thanks to his good command of the English language, Oleg found his first job, handling the laundry for restaurants, in two weeks after their arrival in the country.  Of course, this position didn’t pay very much, but it allowed the family to make ends meet for the first time.  And quite naturally, it was just the beginning.  Later, Oleg graduated from a business school, and everything came in it turn – better jobs, a good car, and his children.  (His two sons were born in America as U.S. citizens)  Well, let us believe that for this family, the “Great American Dream” is coming true.

The Vietnamese Mid-Autumn Festival

by: Anh N. D. Do

As the gifts of nature come in many different forms, so are our appreciations.  These realms of admiration, from physical, spiritual to aesthetic, could be further intensified in their intricacy and complexity according to their cultural origins, especially when they are concerned with a natural event.  One of such time in Vietnam, Tet Trung Thu, represents the people’s enjoyment of the most perfect full moon of the year.

        It was been observed that only during the night of the 15th day of August of the lunar calendar one could view clearly the geographical movements that resemble a magnificent marble castle on top of a great mountain range on the moon.  The story goes that the lady of the castle, the moon fairy Hang Nga, lives lonely through the whole year long, except during the night of mid-autumn when she is allowed to observe life on earth.  Mid-Autumn is also the end of the harvest season.  To comfort Hang Nga and in reward for their hard labor, the Vietnamese celebrate Tet Trung Thu.  But the more special reason for the Mid-Autumn Festival is the children – the festival is celebrated in their honor, it is the time for all children to be happy and to have fun.  

        Approximately a month before the festival date, the preparation is in progress with all eagerness and haste.  On the one hand, special round and square Mid-Autumn Festival cakes are being made.  The cakes have either the baked or the non-baked shells that cover either the sweet or the salty stuffing.  The former has golden brown baked shells while the later has soft smooth creamy white ones.  The picturesque designs of the cake layers are themselves a feast of the eyes.  Carving delicately on the cakes are the images that represent the creatures of the sky, from the dragons to the birds, lightly soaring, the creatures of the earth, from the daisies to the roses, daintily blooming, or the geometrical shapes, from the circle to the square, mosaically interweaving.  These layers beautifully cover the stuffing, which, for the sweet ones, could be made from grinding the green beans and sugar or from mixing the different fruit sweets, and for the salty ones, from decanting the yoke of chicken eggs, or from mixing pork, sausages, and seeds together.  All ingredients are carefully blended to induce the most pleasing responses from the senses.

        The other, even more exciting half of the artistic frenzy, is the  making of the candle-lighted lanterns.  The variation in sizes, colors, and representations of the lanterns is the heart of the festival.  These lanterns have three basic components: the form, the decoration, and the candle holder.  To make a butterfly or a bird, the lantern makers first bend bamboo strips skillfully to form curvatures and knots.   Next they would cover the forms with colorful reflective plastic papers.  creating red, blue, yellow, green, or purple joyful creatures.  Then the different colorful reflective plastic papers, feathers, and white cotton are used to decorate the lanterns together with sparkling silver or gold threads.  Finally, the candle holders are place within the lanterns so the children could light them with the candles of their choice, which, besides being colorful, are also of different sizes and shapes.  It is an all-out-effort by the makers not only to express their artistic talents but to capture the hearts and souls of the eager children.

        To the children’s great excitement, the mid-autumn night arrives.  As the full moon presides prominently on the dark velvet sky, its light is so bright that with every gentle breeze of the tropic, one could almost see the silver smoke dispersing from the moon toward the cool surrounding.  On its face, the castle and mountains stretch dreamily.  Upon close attention, one could almost hear the moon fairy’s gentle step on the marble floor of the castle’s vast rooms.  But all is strangely quiet and emptily sad – the moon fairy is so alone.  Everywhere on the land, children begin lighting their lanterns, and all but in a moment of time, millions of odd colors twinkling stars sparkle lively, and shine the great castle with their prism of light.  Then the children sing their festival songs; those quick, short, merry tunes that introduce their communities, describe their activities, and share their lovely stories with Hang Nga.  They light up their villages with the pretty lanterns, and in return, are mesmerized by their rainbow brightness.  They enjoy the games late into the night as much as the bites of the delicious cakes taken with sips of the aromatic lotus tea.  Their joyous laughter ring clearly toward the sky.  And the moon fairy rejoins their happiness by shining evermore brightly into the serene autumn night.

A Kurdish Approach To Conflict Resolution

by: Dr. Pary Karadaghi

        The art  of how to resolve conflicts in Kurdistan is usually performed by the “white beards” of a village, elderly woman who “have seen the world,” and educated people who have attained stature within the community.  Although age is a factor that determines how much a person has seen and learned about mediating conflict, education and communication skills, and a person’ innate ability to mediate conflicts, and disputes, play a significant role.

        Conflict between human beings is normal and sometimes a positive occurrence.  It helps us recognize and accept our differences.  As human beings we have conflicts.  That’s how we grow.  If we do not have conflict, we would have a very boring life.  However, some conflicts are damaging and have a long-term effect on people’s relationships.  Just like feuding and divorcing couples fighting about everything from furniture to the children, it can be harmful.  The legal process of divorce is emotionally exhausting and time consuming.  Most of the time neither parent is entirely satisfied with the divorce.  In the US many courts require couples to participate in conflict resolution before entering legal divorce proceedings.

        Many experts in conflict management and mediation recognize that effective conflict resolution is first based on the commitment of the participants to resolve the conflict amicably and listen to each other’s point of view.  The basis of community peace is honoring and listening to other members of the community.  Trying to be understood and understand the other person is the second step in resolving conflicts.  To resolve a conflict, listen to the other party and listen to yourself.  [Perhaps tape the discussion, replay it, and listen to yourself.]  Ask yourself: Am I expressing my feelings and viewpoints or am I attacking the other person?  Attack doesn’t resolve conflict.  It is a no no.  Mediation is not only for disputing political parties in Kurdistan, it is also used between divorcing couples, feuding neighborhoods, gang members, relatives, landlords and tenants, debtors and creditors, and employers and employees.

        With mediation, tow or more people who are disputing get together with a neutral third person (sometimes a team) – the mediator – to try to solve their problems.  The mediator(s), trained in conflict resolution, help disputing parties evaluate their goals and options in order to find a solution agreeable to both parties.  The disputing parties have to consider what is at stake and what is to be gained from mediation and conflict resolution.

        For too long we have let conflict stand in our way and have resorted to aggression and fighting to achieve our goals.  It is alarming when we have disagreement and we immediately start labeling the other persons as the enemy.  We can not afford this, we need unity.  More and more people and groups are walking out on each other when there is conflict.  It is not okay to walk away from problems.  These divisive methods have taken a huge toll on our families and communities.

        When is mediation needed?  It may be time to mediate if you have tried without success to settle the dispute by talking directly with the other side, and if you have enough information about what you would like the settlement to be.  Mediation may be desirable in cases when:

• The law cannot provide a solution or a remedy.

• There are disputes between family members, and neighbors.

• You want to end a problem not a relationship.  You want to minimize costs. [Filing a lawsuit is always a hostile act]

• You are having difficulty initiating negotiations or lack negotiating skills.  Mediation will prevent either parties from being intimidated or manipulated.

There are for basic steps in resolving conflicts:

1.    Air the problem.  Bring it out in the open.  Listen to everyone involved, find out what they want, what they feel, and why.  Then tell your side, say honestly how you feel, what you want and why.  Everyone must listen and respect the other person who is talking and must not interrupt.

2.    Clarify the problems.  Combine everyone’s needs, whys, and whats into one statement that has neutral language and focus on the future.  Then ask the question “how can we?”…how can we be united”

3.    Brainstorm solutions.  Together the disputing parties think up as many solutions as possible to the problem just stated.  Respectfully listen to everybody.  Postpone criticism or suggestions until you have listed all of them.  Together eliminate the non-workable ideas and choose the ones that meet the most needs.

4.  Always choose a round table, where everyone gets a chance to talk and express his or her feelings.  Make the process democratic.  There should be “no winners or no losers”.. just solutions.  Participants need to “attack the problems at hand that are being discussed” and not the people at the table.

Life of Bosnia

by: Maya Manisevic

        Life in Bosnia was great, it had a lot of good and bad times, but when war was not around and everything was normal.  People lived in peace and harmony before the war.  In Bosnia and Herzegovina everyone had a job that paid good and gave insurance to every family.  People in Bosnia had long vacations over the summers and winters.  The summers were mostly spent in other countries, the usual one was Croatia.  Yahorina, a mountain in Sarajevo, was one of the winter’s most common places to go to.

        Bosnia was a country with a lot of opportunities and many jobs if you wanted to work there.  People who worked for different companies and in the public offices usually worked till three o’clock in the afternoon and the rest of the day was free for them.  The movie theatres, schools, and shopping centers were opened till late in the afternoon. Online shopping websites are all over the place. A quick search will list more than you can count, but which online stores are actually the best? Check it out Shoppok one of the best online stores. The schools had and still have very strong educational programs.  High school and middle school students went to school in the morning till six o’clock in the afternoon.  In Bosnian schools, there were around fourteen subjects that you would have from the fifth grade till the end of your education.  Maybe it seems a little bit too much, but every Bosnian went through and are strongly educated.  Coming to America was not a big surprise as we thought it would be because we learned in our schools about this beautiful country.  But there was one thing that we weren’t taught; it was life itself in the USA.  But, now we know what it is like being in America. 

        The cities in Bosnia are very pretty.  Everyone likes to live in the center of town because it is the place where everything goes on.  The center of the city is always full of young and old people walking.  The life for young people was very good because there was a lot of fun things to do.  People would go to movies, shopping places, disco clubs, and sport places.  And one good thing about this is that you did not need to drive to get to these places, because it was all within walking distance.  The teenagers, and everyone else, could go out everyday because there was hardly any problems in the city, and it was a very safe place to live in.  One of the interesting things that I forgot to mention, is that schools in Bosnia had great fieldtrips.  These fieldtrips could last from one to seven days, and kids would go to all the different countries in Europe.

        This was the time when people of Bosnia knew that life was good, but ugly bombs came into our land and destroyed not just houses, but peace, families, and our dear friends.  But, in spite of all that, there is one thing nobody could kill.  That one thing was our spirits and hopes.  Hoping that, one day, we could start our lives all over again and still be happy.  The USA is the place where we got our lives back.  It was very hard for us, but we did it.  And to this day, some are still working on it.  The most common challenge for everyone, was the language barrier.  It is hard to work and go to school if you do not know English.  It is also hard to change your lifestyle in a week.  We have to learn to live in a totally strange new world.  But, the one thing we said, is that if we could survive a war and many great sufferings, we should be able to survive and overcome any obstacle..  Well, that is easy to say, but people did not just left their home country and felt the changes, but they felt a pain.  A pain, because they left their loved ones and pieces of their hearts are still over there.  The USA is a great country, because it gives you a lot of opportunities to continue your life in peace and harmony and to have a great future.  It is a place where you have freedom, and protection.  This country is for people who wants to work, and Bosnians, do love to work.  So the life is easier.  The school’s programs are making it a lot easier and you have a greater chance to be excellent students.  And even if you are not, there are many people who wants to help.

        We could say Bosnia was relatively a good country to live in, but some people did not like it so the war started and destroyed everything that was good about this country.  Well this was ex-Yugoslavia, that break up into Bosnia, Croatia and Serbia.  Now in America life goes on and Bosnians love being here, because everyone that needs help, got help from many people that have a very big heart.  Top